I Went Skiing

 

Tommy, my love, I finally made it out to go skiing. A few girlfriends and I went up to HooDoo for the day and I thought of you often. I thought of our crazy ideas of skinning up peaks just to ski down. I thought of you only wanting to buy the best of the best gear for alpine touring. I thought of us learning to ski together. I thought of you teaching me the basics. Pizza and French Fries! Pizza is still my favorite because that means I can slow down! I thought of you so damn often that day. While being out in the mountains was so cleansing and healing for the soul, being amongst those familiar peaks, where we shared so many memories, was also extremely painful. From the top of the ski lift, off in the distance, Sisters and Bend could be seen....Oh, the stories we have from Sisters and Bend!

 

While about to start my run, I stand still looking around me at this great landscape before me...soaking it all in, breathing in that fresh mountain air. I begin to notice that just about every peak is visible to me from the Sisters to Mt. Washington. Every peak except for Mt. Jefferson. Mt Jefferson lay in the clouds, hidden from my eye. It was almost as if you wanted me to remember the good times and not the end.

 

Throughout the day I could hear your voice, providing me with gentle guidance while on my runs. You gave me that extra boost of confidence at those moments when I started questioning if I was capable of the task at hand. You have always possessed that ability; the ability to bestow confidence in me. The funny thing is, you never did anything except to allow me to realize my abilities and to be proud of them. I love you, Tommy.

 

 

Though I was able to smile and laugh on this day, my heart remains incredibly broken and shattered into pieces. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I have not ceased being your wife, Tommy. You remain my husband...and I remain deeply and madly in love with you. I am trying my best to continue to live the life we have always imagined. To live a life full of energy, adventure, the outdoors, love and laughter. I am trying, lover...I am trying.

 

I hope you are okay with me sharing our story. It is a beautiful story, my love. A beautifully tragic story. Sharing our story is bringing me a little peace...hopefully that is you giving me your blessing. You and I are both typically private people but I jest cannot keep it in. I want everyone to know our love, to experience it, to know you and who you are and what you stand for. What we had was so very special. It was so special that not many will every experience a love like ours. I know that is true.

I love you, sleep well.

Your wife,
Alison Fountain