Saturday, May 28, 2016

Oh, Country Music




"A good country song takes a page out of somebody's life and puts it to music." - Conway Twitty




On a recent drive, my phone wouldn't connect to the car for my playlist and I found my self stuck scanning the radio for stations. I had few options due to where I was located.....country or Banda. 

I don't mind country music, some of my favorite artists and songs are in fact country but I have found myself straying from my country roots more and more as country music is evolving to something far from what it used to be. With that being said...I chose the country music radio station.


There, I found some new songs that I did not know and some old gems that brought me back to good old times. Driving along an open freeway in the California valleys, sun shining down on me....reminiscing....singing along!

Then....Luke Bryan came on with a song called "Drink a Beer." I was not familiar with the song, but it had a great tune, so I was captivated....

"When I got the news today
I didn't know what to say
...
I took a walk to clear my head
This is where the walking led
Can't believe you're really gone
Don't feel like going home
So, I'm gonna sit right here
On the edge of this pier
And watch the sunset disappear
And drink a beer
Funny how the good ones go
Too soon, but the good lord knows
...
Right now it don't make sense
I can't make it all make sense
...
So long, my friend
Until we meet again
I'll remember you
And all the times that we used to"

Man! Oh man! I listened with a heavy heart. Is there something in my eye again? Is the sun so bright, my eyes are squinting and tearing? My chest is heavy again....like something is sitting right in the center of my broken heart. My chin quivered...probably looked like a pit of an apricot. I parked my car ....took a second to push my internal "reset" button and walked into the restaurant to grab some lunch. 

I was going to eat my salad in the car so I could charge my phone to stay in contact with my family. Hopping back in the car with lunch in hand, I was beyond relieved that the song was gone and we could resume the fun country songs of my past. 

Turning on the radio...man! There was something in my eye again! Weird...another song I had never heard before but instantly recognized it as one that many friends had sent me since Tommy's death. I have successfully avoided opening up the multiple links since November yet instantly knew this was THE song. Cole Swindell's "You Should Be Here."

"You should be here, standing with your arm around me here
Cutting up, cracking a cold beer, saying cheers, hey y'all its sure been a good year
Its one of those moments, that's gotten your name written all over it
And you know that if I had just one wish, it'd be that you didn't have to miss this
You should be here

You'd be loving this, you'd be freaking out, you'd be smiling
I know you'd be all about what's going on right here right now

Oh you should be here"

Oh lover....the memories flooded in, my eyes welled up with those all too familiar tears. There was no fighting it this time. I quickly turned off the radio and let it happen. The time we went to Bend, chasing the Bend Ale Trail...spending 6 hours at an urban winery with the owner popping cans of Rainier instead of his wine...UFC fighting one another in our California home...caving with Penelope...spending glorious summers at Oregon's Cultus Lake....they all flooded back and so many more!



I have been afraid of the silence since November.... Afraid of what may run through my head but have learned that it really is true....you literally cannot out run your problems. Even if you think you can, they will catch up with you eventually. 

However, I was not mad at the radio...I was not mad at my memories...I embraced them. Tommy and his love will always be a part of me and I will be better and stronger for them and because of him and his influence in my life. People that are just now entering my life and those that will enter my life in the future have someone to thank ....someone they will never get the chance to meet in person but someone that they should be thankful and grateful for, for he has made me who I am today and I am sure I will only keep getting stronger because of him. 

That is the story that made me think back to country music and what it has taught me. Some of the other things I have learned from country music include:

- Trucks are awesome! Even better on dirt roads

- The outdoors is a perfect place for a pyramid of cans in the pale moon light...preferably by a river, lake or fire
- Morals are important...if you lie, cheat or steal, you just might not be happy with the consequences (think Garth Brooks "The Thunder Rolls")

- We should always be proud of being Americans...patriotism is never something to be ashamed of

- Own who you are! If you are rocking a baby on your hip with Christmas lights still up in June (thanks Gretchen Wilson) or if you are stringing together a bunch of boats on the lake to make a floating trailer park (Craig Morgan), be proud! Be proud of who you are! 

- And quite possibly the biggest lesson I have learned....you must be 100% mentally STABLE to listen to country music! It will always find your weakness!! 



P.s. I love you, Tommy. You are always in my heart and I am so thankful to you for all of the glorious memories we shared and made. My heart is heavy at times...heavy because you aren't here to make more memories with me. I am trying to make as many memories I can of grand adventures so I have one hell of a story to tell you when we meet again. Xoxo