Oh, Nepal

As I am left with the aftermath of returning from international adventure (I'm talking about the unpacking and cleaning, here), I cannot help but reflect on the amazing country that I had the honor to become acquainted with. A two week trip to the wonderful country of Nepal has me wanting more of it's mountains and more of it's people. 

I had the great opportunity to visit the country's largest Leprosy Hospital and was beyond blown away with how they approach the disease. Not only are they promoting early prevention but they treat all stages of it from prophylaxis to the unfortunate task of amputating limbs. Their care doesn't stop there, they then assist with prosthetics and even help reintegrate the patients back into society. Due to a heavy negative stigma, many villages will oust those with Leprosy and it is very difficult for patients to find value in society again. This hospital does it all. I was beyond impressed. They are even wanting to open up a trauma program in the near future, which I have been generiously offered a position with them to help get staff trained and get the program up and running. This is a huge and heart warming commitment...What I do with it? Only time will tell. 

Throughout my stay in Nepal, I was also honored to not only meet many amazing individuals but was welcomed into their family circles. Everyone was not only welcoming and sincere but they really wanted you to be and treated you like family. I cooked for their families, they cooked for me, I was invested with their well being and them in mine. My heart was sad to leave for I left a newly formed family full of love and smiling hearts. 

Despite all of this, I must say one of the most memorable and breathtaking things about my trip to Nepal was trekking into the Khumbu Valley, the home of the great Himalayan mountains. This is the part of the trip that I have reflected the most on. Along the trek, there is many miles and many hours of silence. There are breathtaking views before you even get to the Himalayas. Gigantic and sacred rivers cutting through the valley, snaking it's way through the country side. Down to earth villages and villagers just trying to survive off of the land were sprinkled among the hillsides. Buddhist monasteries hidden among the mountains. Mani stone cairns placed along the trail to bless the path. Yaks grazing up high in the meadows right before the tree line disappears and the barren rock of the high Himalayas emerges. 

Knowing that I was at the base of all of the greats: Mt Everest, Lhotse, Island Peak, Cho Oyu and my all time favorite obsession: Ama Dablam was more than moving. The only thing missing...my climbing partner, my lover, my best friend, the man who I know would've been screaming the whole time we were immersed in the Khumbu Valley. Tommy and I had always dreamed of going to Nepal and climbing some of the greats....Cho Oyu was to be our first 8000 meter peak.I never imagined this would be how we would make it to Nepal together....me carrying his ashes in my backpack and placing him where I knew he would love. 

He now lies among the Buddhist Mani Stones in the Khumbu Valley, where on a clear day, he will be able to stare longingly at those great Himalayan mountains that we dreamed of. 

He has also taken a journey in the Dudh Koshi River, whose headwaters is at the base of Mt Everest, runs throughout the Khumbu Valley and eventually converges with the sacred Ganges River of India. Now that is one hell of a spiritual trip! During my trek, this river was always near by...in a way, so was Tommy.   

Along the trail there were many collections of Mani stones, monasteries and prayer wheels. I have always identified the most with Buddhism, it's teachings, and it's rituals. Every time we crossed a pile of mani stones or a prayer wheel, I would gently caress the stone or delicately yet with intention turn the prayer wheel, all while silently saying the "Om Mani Padme Hum" mantra and then say another one for Tommy. The prayer or mantra "Om Mani Padme Hum" is said to not be translatable as it encompasses all of the Buddhas teachings. It is a powerful prayer that can bring purity upon the soul. 

The prayers and mantras and admiration of the temples, monasteries, scenery, and rich traditions were still not enough to silence my mind. I wanted so much to be sharing theses experiences with Tommy. I wanted to hear his excitement and passion in his voice. I wanted to geek out with him on all the Buddhist relics and history. I wanted to tell stories back and forth along the trail. I wanted nothing more than to dream and explore Nepal with him. His excitement for life cannot be replaced...

Now all I can hope is that I can one day take a little piece of him to the summit of our dreams. 

As I complete my unpacking and reflecting two songs continue to run through my head. One is a Hozier song called "Foreigner's God." The part that hits me hard in the chest is " Screaming the name of a foreigner's God, the purest expression of grief." I do not consider myself a religious person...not even the slightest. Despite not being religious, I could not help but silently scream to the Buddha. I found myself drawn to the monasteries, having to slow down our trek, so I could spend time at the temples, take my time to spin the prayer wheels and run my hand along the Mani stones. I do believe, this is the purest expression of grief...

The other song is "Switzerland" by The Last Bison. If one replaces "Switzerland" with "Nepal" it sums up my feelings regarding this country. I came in hopes of giving back to a country that has been demolished and devastated by a massive earthquake yet it has given me so much more than I could ever give to it. It has more than left me with a sense of compassion and has picked me up from off the ground. I'd like to share the lyrics only because they speak loudly to me: 

Switzerland, by The Last Bison

"We tried to sleep up in the banks of snow
But soon discovered it was far too cold
So we then retreated into town
To find a place where there was level ground

Oh oh, call home
And oh oh, call home

And oh, oh Switzerland
Youʼve taken way my breath now once again
Youʼve left me with a sense of compassion
For the ones who
Can't pick themselves up off the ground

Oh Switzerland
I never thought I'd have you as a friend
I'm praying it was not at all pretend
I need you now
To help pick me up from off the ground

Our drinks were hardly worth the price we paid
But we thanked God for them anyways
And with five minutes left we broke our backs
To spend more money than either of us had

Oh oh, call home
And oh oh, call home

And oh, oh Switzerland
Youʼve taken way my breath now once again
Youʼve left me with a sense of compassion
For the ones who
Can't pick themselves up off the ground

Oh Switzerland
I never thought I'd have you as a friend
I'm praying it was not at all pretend
I need you now
To help pick me up from off the ground"

PC: Friends Adventures, Ama Dablam

P.s. We will one day stand on the top of Ama Dablam, "The Mother's Jewel Box" of the HImalayas. Cheers to more adventures, my lover! Always with me. Always mine. Always yours. I wish you were there in Nepal, my love.